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[Benjamin] Franklin [Butler] to Harriet Allen, 9 May 1817

My dear Harriet

I waited with great impatience & anxiety for the arrival of the Paragon yesterday, because by her I expected to receive intelligence of the result of my application. Late in the evening she arrived here and then I had the disappointment to discover that there was no letter from New York either to me or Mr. V. Buren. I was really disappointed for I had made my arrangements for going to Kinderhook before I went to N.Y. which I am afraid I shall now be obliged to abandon altogether. I shall not now receive a letter until Saturday & perhaps Sunday. I think I would much rather have received news that my application was entirely rejected, than to have met with the disappointment of last evening. If I had been told that I must stay at home, I would have been satisfied, because my anxiety would have been removed, but now it is only increased ten fold, and don't know how I shall exist till Saturday. All the <comes> of entrusting the business to the Atty Genls friend the Chief Justice. If I had engaged some young lawyer & but little business to attend to it, I should have had a letter of some sort or other and I would not have cared what it contained so I had only received one. I'll never trust any concerns of mine to a great man again. They are eternally forgetting their promises, & leaving you in suspense. But I presume you are tired of this and so am I. You have I cannot inform you now with certainty when I shall pass Hudson probably if I go at all it will be on Monday, and as I shall not hear till tomorrow afternoon or Sunday, this is the last letter I shall write from Albany unless my visit should be entirely abandoned. If I am on board the Boat on Monday, I will station myself as far forward on the Boat as possible until the small boat comes along side and then I will go there and expect to receive a letter from Robert for which I will give him one in return. I shall recognize you I am sure, and I dare say I can make you see me! Unless you wish me to defer it I think I shall go to Connecticut. You perceive I have a strong inclination for the jaunt, and one reason for my wishing to go is that I may get to Hudson. For the Atty. Gen. is so very anxious to have me admitted for the purpose of commencing some important business immediately after it that I am afraid he will urge me to return at once. However thats a matter of indifference. I am determined to stop at Hudson, though I must be only for a short space of time. My dear Harriet I have no time to send you a longer letter to day. I would not send you so meagre a one, if I didn't know that you expected to hear from me, and I know from my own experience that its more pleasant to receive even a poor letter than none at all. Believe me dear Harriet now and ever 

Your own 


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Source: N New York State Library
Collection: Benjamin Franklin Butler Papers (N)
Series: Series 3 (17 February 1815-2 December 1821)